reading back that post of mine a few months ago has made me.....

......LAUGHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhHHHhhhhhh hahhhahHha

.............nevermind
............I love my FRIENDS

.......And sorry if ive ever hurt you guys in any way

anyways, will be assignments-freeee and exams-freee the next month woOOhooo~! (finally it's my turn to have holidayssss) *claps and jumps excitedly* so i guess i'll start blogging again :D

ooh btw i've been collecting papercuts from my exam papers :S one from social & business comm and another one from quantitative methods...weird innit??..NO not weird at all...i guess i was just too nervous during my papers...whatever

shall not get so excited about it first cos i have NO IDEa how long will i still be in the mood to maintain this lil bloggie of mine..hehe

did a little studying (and yes picture taking) in the library @ the Subang Jaya National Golf Club last saturday...

SEE!!
SEEE!!
SEEEEEEEE!!!

loved the pictures we took that day but i'd be so lame if i posted all of em up on friendster...SOOOOOOO had some fun with microsoft photodraw and the almighty photoshop (im still an amatuer at it that is why i still need my good old buddy microsoft photodraw >.<)

the pic turned out quite cute...i think hehe (screw proper english) :P

shall go study for my last paper now...buhbyee

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so is it me against the whole damn world?

damn im feelin really creepy with all this insecurities and fears...about?
Interpersonal relationships
no not my relationship with my baybee, were done just fine and in fact pretty damn good..im loving him more and more each day...so then interpersonal relationships?

yeah
with who?
= the people around me... my family...friends...strangers basically every human being ive met.

i wonder sometimes how do people actually see me...what do others think of me cos i sure have a whole lot of things to say about the people i know.

i know for a fact that no one can be friends with everyone in this planet...we cant be pleasing every being in this world and i agree totally with that an thats not the issue here...but why is it that i cant seem to feel "close" to the people i know...

When i first get to know someone i do agree i am kind of a cold person ( and i think most people are too) but am i stuck up? arrogant? proud? as what ive heard from some of the friends about their first impressions of me...cos i sure know that i am not inside...very often, i feel as if i lack language skills and social skills to mix around people i dont know...i feel that i am very bad at expressing myself to people...i feel that sometimes im even ignored by the people around me..when i open my gap and start to talk..sometimes i even feel the need to attract some attention to be seen....ok thats alot of "i feel-s" in there haha so yeah is that why i dont have much people i can count as friends? or people that i can easily feel at home with? that i can pour out my heart to?

i dont know if its me or the people i know but y is it that i can feel so annoyed with all the people around me...at least oncee for everyone of them..heh its like i have to give them a timetable or something

"1-30 Jan - annoyed with A
31st Jan - pick new target
1-30 Feb - annoyed with B"

what the hell is wrong with me????

am i so damn sensitive and such a bitch that i have to get mad at all my friends at least once throughout our whole friendship...the kind of annoyed i mean includes ignoring them and feeling really really stressed about my relationship with them as a friend and bringing back all the old issues i had with them and relating all the shit to one another

"...Heh so that is why she was......"
"....i wonder what were her intentions that time when she said bla bla bla..."

sometimes it gets so bad i even feel like disowning them as a friend. well, i cant really do that in fact since my friends and i are not blood related or neither did we go through any ceremony to 'vow' that we wil be friends forever so anyways yeah id feel soo soo soo sad and dissapointed in myself and that friend of mine which i have "picked to be annoyed at". bleh. im such a weirdo.

that is why im saying that only when i start to get close to people that i will discover their other side and slowly grow to disliking them eventhough i do in a way accept their shortcomings as human beings...everyone has some traits which are not acceptable to all right? woohooo imcontradicting myself again! blah. im just gona type whatever that comes to mind to hell with contradicting myself.

aiks gotta have to continue later..gotta go out now



EDITED : then again...this is my blog and i have all the right to contradict myself mwahaha come on...my blog add says it all :D cheers.

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