kontradikcion

December

The Relationship between Stress, Social Support and Social Well-Being" was the title of my thesis. I did a lot of research in that area but I never really saw a point in my research, the experience going through my whole research to data collection to reporting and presenting it left me with a.....so what? So what if I found what I found.

For some odd reason I kinda feel like rewriting my thesis because I'm getting a lot of first hand experience in that area.

2009 has really been quite a year for me.

I can't believe its ending already...

I'm the worst friend ever

I cant believe i actually forgot her birthday this year. I remembered 5 days later that 22nd of November was her birthday. =(

Please forgive me my dear yeen.

I'm dedicating this space here to you, here's wishing you all the best in all you do. I miss you as well as the other few so much and thanks for becoming one of the significant people in my life.

My dear pretty yeen.

Happy Belated 22nd Birthday!

Take care over there, I will see you soon alrighty?

pssssss Vatty, Wen, Jac and I are going Fish n Co. this week! We'll save you some calamari okie?

XOXO

My Colleagues @ work

Brought my camera to work one day and just snapped around.

Sadly, my camera was low on battery and the office was quite empty so there were very little pictures snapped.

I bug Jestina the most whenever I'm lost... and sometimes even when I'm not. She calls me camel because I (supposedly) drink alot of water but I somehow can't relate to the name yet.

Karen is my buddy buddy at work. We started about the same time and she's really fun to be around.

It was Nicki's last day at work for her internship that day so Rina was giving her a big hug. Gonna be missing Nicki's presence but we'll meet again during movie screenings. Rina is Tim's ever reliable sexytary ( I remember Nat using this term b4 so I'm crediting her for it!).

For those of you reading who don't know already, I'm working at Nuffnang now and @ nuffnang, we are called nuffies.

I use this teddy as my wrist rest. The right leg of this teddy is perfect to be used as a wrist rest.

More next time k?

Time Management

Dad has been sending me to work these few days and has been nagging advising me about my time management. I don't seem to have much time for myself these days as I'm juggling between getting things done @ work and also my social calender. Been home late almost every night and heading straight to bed every night I get back.

Honestly speaking, I've been trying to keep myself busy to avoid facing certain issues though I know myself it is something I would have to deal with sooner or later. Painful, but time will heal...having people around me who care also helped with the process.

*digs for random picture*

This is a picture from eons ago. Back when I still have colored hair and my cousin, short hair. Just something we cousins do after a heavy Japanese buffet meal. :)

Am testing out this Maxis Broadband unit my mum got for a 4 months trial. Speed seems to be pretty slow but better than being disconnected aye? head is aching a lil...off to bed.

tell me if your office can get more awesome than this.

Big Ben By Leo

This is my brother's first 3D model project with Maya.

prettydamnawesome right?

I don't know how exactly many hours he spent working on this but it was a bloody long time from what I see.

Will bug him to make a 3D model of me someday. My face with Jessica Alba's body teeheehee

*awkward silence*

I got bitch slapped

Not literally but verbally @ Subway Jaya33 today.

There was a young mother in her late 20s with her husband & 2 children and then there was me and my mum.

I was standing in line @ subways ordering my favourite 6" Subway Melt with parmesan oregano bun and before me there was this woman, dressed rather sloppily in a purple baby-t, mummy bermudas..and ..(were those crocs? eww). She was already at the cash register about to settle her bill and myself as well as the rest of the line was just minding our own business, placing our orders.

Then this woman. who looks like she was about to settle the bill, wanted to order more food so she kept poking her face into my direction trying to check the menu and get the waiters to take her order.

I tell you I could even feel her breath on my face because she was that close to me! and can you imagine how annoying that felt? You standing there minding your business and there is it woman moving about very (!!!) closely near your face as though she was trying to stare into your nostril or trying to count the number of blackheads on your nose.

But because I thought she had difficulty making up her mind and seeing the choices of bun listed out at the end of the queue (and i understand how it feels being a fickle minded person myself) I didn't mind her even though I thought she was very rude to intrude my space! Ignore.

*Ding* my subway melt with turkey ham, breakfast strips and turkey breast and cheese came out of the toaster smelling pretty damn awesome.

"That's not my bun...What is that?"

That woman yelled to the waiter....

The waiter was confused of course and I could tell he wasn't really listening to her. He looked at me and I signaled to him that that was my sandwich, so he asked me what sorta veggie I want.

Just when I was about to answer "I want everything except....

That woman then, without any hesitation turned to the waiter and uttered

"Ermmm I want a Italian BMT, 6 inch yadayada I'm a b**** yadayada I take it up the a** yadayada" or something along that line.

Obviously the waiter was even more confused because his job was supposed to just place the appropriate amount of veggie on the bun - putting the dressing - wrapping the bun and not picking the bun - toasting the bun. The ordering and toasting takes place at the end of the line, this is where the sandwich gets healthier with the greens!

I was of course taken aback by this woman, so rude leh! I was talking to that poor boy and she simply ignored me like that and all the while she was still doing the blackhead counting move next to me!

Pissed off, I took a step back and moved before her in the line so she could place her order with the right person and I could have my choice of greens in me bun.

Waiter sort of signaled me to continue with my order and so I went

"Okay I would like everything except for capsicums"

And that was the moment where I kena. Left right center from this woman.

"Why did you cut my queue? Excuse me I am not even done with MY ORDER, I have 2 kids that are very hungry now how can YOU just jump the queue.....!??! Well if it makes you feel GOOD about it GO AHEAD
*signals to the waiter* Yeah Serve her first!"

I was like....*speechless* I took a step back.

"Excuse me lady that *points to my already cold bun" is my bun. You have not even decided on what you want"

"But you are so rude to just jump the line like that but if it makes you feel good GO Ahead!"

Just then my mum came and pulled me back saying

"No No nvm, serve the woman first".

I was of course ~!#!@ing mad because that %@#$@# made it seem like I was a spoilt brat for asking the waiter to place the veggie on my bun.

WTF?!

You want me to wait for you to slowly make up your mind while my sandwich is just sitting there and you want the whole subway crew to pause for you to decide whether or not you should order the Italian BMT or a new haircut isit?!?

You expect me to compromise the quality of my Subway Melt because of your fickle mindedness and your horrible sense of fashion (I just have to add this in)?! DENG! No way especially after I had to put up with your blackhead counting and your breath a few minutes before that. CIS!

And you know what she did next? She went on to say to the waiter

"Hey just deal with that girl quickly, my child is hungry"

WTF!!?

Now its my fault that you started the commotion?

Just then the owners approached us and asked what happened. The woman proceeded to blame the whole thing on me saying i cut her queue and all that la, the owner only said one thing.

Whose bun is that? * Points at my poor lil bun*

"Mine."

"Okay, you go ahead first, its okay because your sandwich is ready"

Then she asked me if I cut the woman's queue and I explained the whole situation to her. She sighed and shook her head a lil.

"Nevermind, Its okay if your bun is ready, its your turn."

*******

Damn good la.

My sandwich was so cold.

And there was capsicum in it.

@#%#$%@#!!

Panties.

I'm feeling kinda sick of my blog's textured background right now because I can't edit my pictures in a way to blend in with the background. I want a new laptop so I can start with my picture editing again woohoo!

I miss the good old days where I use to spend hours and hours just to edit pictures and compose blog entries and making this page pretty.

Reading back some of the old entries, I realize I've gotten less personal with this blog...I used to talk about everything that was going on in my life, rarely even filtering stuff that should be kept more personal. Part of the reason why I've became this clamped up in my blog is because I wasn't really blogging for myself anymore..I was blogging in a way that would please a certain few people who would read my blog and then come back to comment about it, most of the time negatively. You know people telling you

"Why did you have to say that?"

"You should have been more ___ with that issue!"

So enough with all that bullshit and let me try give blogging another shot aye? =)

By the way I wanna thank dear tiffany & mingzi for this awesome *winks* (refer to picture) all the way from the UK

Union Jack

It's so comfortable and I'm loving it! *hugs*

Since I'm on a roll of flashing my panties, feast your eyes on prolly one of the most unglam pictures of mine.

Yes, I am the one in the middle.

Can you see my panties or not?

What on earth was I thinking?! Why was I such a boyish little girl and not one of those pretty girlie girls? hmph. Btw I was 3 years old in this picture =)

Found back this picture from facebook when a girl who was from the same kindergarten as I posted em up.

Ok enough of em panties flashing *zips up*.

Taken when I was all alone in the office @ 8:30 PM last night. A day before Halloween. O_O

Bye for now!

Just a quick one

Because I'm vain and I need to run out to get Daddy a pressie =)

In case you didn't know, I just (1 week ago) got back from Singapore for the Nuffnang Blog Awards! So I'll be putting up some pictures provided i get the time to edit em nicely hee hee quality control.

Something interesting from Singapore...

Naughty G

Alright gotta run!

act cute act cute act cute

Helllooooo!

Donkey Years.

Ignore the horrible manicure please thank you.

It has been that long since I've last updated haha, I wonder who still comes by here?

I was browsing through my sd card and I have so much of stuff to share but am just to lazy to get started on it. First of all, my computer is very much still in its barely-alive-but-not-exactly-dead state, my dear uni mates would know this best as I've been complaining about this to them for years.

3 good news I'd like to share =D

1) I've got a new job (loving it! Will share more about this when I have more time)

2) I lost weight (after putting on like 7kg *stabs self* from last year, so I practically still look the same)

3) I'm positive about life! ( Hahaha!)

So thankful for all the people I have in my life, every life experience I've had be it good or bad =)

By the way

Check out the difference between my face and neck color =( I so need new foundation to not look so ghostly! *hint hint*

baybee n i @ silent disco

nice

How is work?

I bet that must be the question lingering in the heads of most my dear friends who still come by my blog.

Work has been *drumroll*

GREAT!

I can't begin to tell you how much in love with my job am I. No I am not being sarcastic. My standard answer to whoever who asks is "Challenging but fun, learning a lot from the experience".

My typical day at work would be

Waking up at 630 to 7, morning meeting/training/pep talk from 8 to 1030 then I'll be on my own to either make phone calls, go for appointments or go door to door networking. I meet on average 4 to 5 new people a day so I am still not bored of this job yet. though having more sales would make me LOVE this job even more. On some days, I would travel from DU to Kelana to Mid Valley to Taman Desa and back to Kelana. On other days I would spend my whole day at like Jaya/ Puchong and meet with the bosses in that area.

Working has definitely change me as a person. I can't believe I'm doing all these things that I've always been so uncomfortable doing - going up to strangers and basically just PR-ing with whoever I meet. Despite all the running around, I do get discouraged every now and then and would sink in my depression from rejection, confusion and tiredness but I monitor my negative thoughts like all the time now. Gotta stay away from em before they become permanent in me!

Btw baybee and I just celebrated our 4year3months anniversary =) and I super heart his surprise heeeeeeeee heeeeee heeeeeeeee ;)

Also...my hair sucks, seriously.

Why does my table look so familiar....as though i'm back into becoming a student...?

Who knew i'd have to study (note:read textbooks and work on past year questions) even when working?!?

I've always thought that i never was a good student....studying (textbooks) was pretty difficult for me because i'm lazy! And unfortunately i'm not one of those who love to read....facts and laws governing something i knew nothing about.

With all that being said i'm still happy (up to this point) that i.ve made my decision :) things just somehow seem to make sense and fit in well with what i imagined my future to be...:)

Btw another negative and totally unnecessary statement to my wellbeing....i feel way less pretty already because i have got short hair now......i'm talking shoulder length....there's not a picture here because i have also lost my skills in camwhoring! What happened to my vanity?

Bah! Screw vanity i wanna be rich now!!

Will be updating more frequently (by phone) i presume cos i just got my phone fixed....for 700 bucks! I've really have myself a brand new phone now hahahaha

I use to be able to camwhore while producing pics that make me look much better than in life.

Tagged by supermum Roberta!

Thanks Roberta for giving me something to update LOL! =D

DIRECTION: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At last, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.

So lets see.....

1. Since April till now, I've applied for up to 30 jobs (Yes believe it), with a wide range of job types, description and responsibilities. I've attended up to 8 interviews so far and am still searching for the right job. I've got so much experience interviewing now that I'm thinking of blogging about my different interviews in future. *winks*

2. I'd come up with silly dance moves whenever I'm bored around the bf. Up till now I have a collection of 6 different ridiculously stupid but funny (to me at least) dance moves that never fail to disgust him....and make him laugh a lil?

3.I'm very veryyy stubborn and particular about taking pictures, especially the composition. I get upset when a potentially good shot is just not up to my standard.

4. I do think that I've got low self esteem at times, I fear leaving the house sometimes because of the way I look or for some stupid reason..... and m very critical about my work, appearance and how I carry myself too.

5. I'm crazy about fruits. Btw i just stocked up on apples, oranges, pears, MANGOES! and lemons. Just had the mangoes earlier tonight and it was AMAZING. I am addicted really.

6. I'm ultra sensitive to scents of all sorts. I tend to be the one sensing the horrible body odour with people around me and also whatever sorts of smell first among my friends. I also have this odd phobia of halitosis when I watch scenes from shows with the actors speaking very near each other...I tend to think to myself " omg what if that actor has bad breath?"

7. I'm impulsive. Example? I once woke at 3am and snipped my fringe because it was getting too long. More? I messed up my entire wardrobe ( and when i say mess up, I mean grabbing everything and flinging them out to my bed) looking for this red top of mine just to know if i still have it. MORE?....duwan la....I don't wanna be freaking you out more.

8. I absolutely cannottakbolehbukeyi tahan lala people because of the things they say. Saw this on tv when I was in the middle of something else....

Judge: WHY do u think u will win this singing competition?
Girl: *complete with hand gestures, the gaya tone of voice and that smirk on the face* because I am very "YAO GUEN" (meaning ROCK, the music genre)! *turns to crowd* Yo Yo Yo Check it out!

....#$%^&%$#$%^&*(!!!!!?!??!?!

9. I believe strongly that make up is a form of manners. Of course I'm not talking about the elaborated monkey backside kinda make up, but I just can't stand women who do not know how to and do not bother learning how to apply basic make up especially if they are working professionals. My disgust also applies to women who put on too much or have bad taste for make up at inappropriate situations.

10. I admire the driving skills of bus and lorry drivers or more specifically their ability to get everyone else on the road to bow down to them. *roll eyes* lol

11. I have a love-hate relationship with driving. I sometimes think I suck so bad at it because I scratch my cars. But I sometimes also think I'm damn yeng at it because I drive a manual car, changing gears makes me feel yeng/gaya. hahahahaha!

12. I take very long to park my car well. I will reverse, adjust, reverse, adjust, adjust, adjust somemore until I feel I'm parked properly. I will also park -> get out of car -> walk a few steps -> lock car -> walk somemore -> look back at car -> hestitate walking away -> walk back towards car -> unlock car -> get back in car -> repark because I just suck at parking or I'm too particular about it.

13. I miss my friends alot but I'm at idiot for not taking more initiative to keep in touch with them. I hate myself for that sometimes, but i do stalk your fbs and blogs! Btw I still have emails to reply and I will reply soon!

14. I don't know how to act fake when communicating with people even on msn. If i like you, you'll find me sharing things about myself to you. I rarely hold back when sharing things about myself to people I like even if we might not be close. If i dislike you, you'll definitely get the hint by the way I reply. But If i don't reply your messages, it does not necessarily mean I dislike you. I might just be busy, away from the comp or am not in the mood for chatting. I'm online most of the time so if you don't see me on your list for a consistently long period of time....hahahaha...ehehe.......erm... *peace*

15. I prefer savoury food more to sweet food. I am not a dessert freak like most girls hahahaha, I do not get hyper when I see the desert section of any buffet spread. I do not fancy chocolate fondue much...its messy and basically just not that special to me.

16. I want to be the jack of all trades. I dream too much and want to learn too much. Sigh how i wish I knew more about every lil thing in this world. I want to be an entrepreneur with mind reading abilities, amazing art sense, designing skills and unlimited creativity...who is also a damn good singer and actor with very good knowledge of politics and amazing culinary skills...and knowledge of engineering...architecture...IT....cars....medicine....construction... mm yea. Master of none still.

I've got so much more random things to share but the list has got to end somewhere has it? =)

Nvm I've got one random experience in my life that I would never forget story to share.

This happened today 23rd May 2009, Saturday afternoon at Amcorp Mall. I was waiting for my mum who was shopping at Cosway, I was having a bad tummy ache while I was on the phone with my bf. I was describing to him the pain i felt in my stomach...the details of my discomfort and how I was in need to...*ahem* go...*ahem ahem*.

So anyways, I dashed out of Cosway and headed straight to the ladies while I was on the phone and trying to calm myself down. I reached the ladies (with everything still in control lol) and immediately searched for an empty cubicle. Spotted this cubicle with the door slightly opened, thought to self, YES thats it. Pushed the door............to find a barenaked ASS of a standing woman staring back at me. I was still on the phone with my bf and in that stressful + shocked + embarrased split second, I yelled "SHIT!! OMG!!" over the phone...and LEFT looking for the an empty cubicle. Found one and wasted no more time. ...

Why am i such a horrible person? I feel so horrible about the whole situation, me opening the door of this woman who was having her private moment, me yelling something stupid at that moment, me LEAVING the door open because I was too shocked + I desperately needed to go + I felt abit disgusted and went straight to look for the next cubicle. What's worse was there was a whole stretch of mirrors facing the cubicles and another woman who was washing her hands witnessed the whole situation (naked ass included). SIGH.

While i was getting down with business I heard the woman (naked ass) yell

"sui da kai wo de men?!?!?! *who opened my door?!?!"

and her friend or whoever replied

" ni mei you suo??? * You didn't lock it???"

I was hoping she wouldn't be banging on every cubicle looking for the culprit at that moment and thank god she didn't! but sigh...I feel so bad. I wanna apologize to her here now.

Sigh, I'm sorry I got you into such an embarassing situation and did not even try to curb things, I know how it feels (YES I DO!), I kena-ed this once when I was much younger in my granny's friend's place. The bloody plastic toilet door lock was apparently faulty and the door was just PUSHED open when i was...minding my business.

sigh. Blame the faulty locks la! I'm sure she wouldn't have left the door unlock on purpose....? And to my defense, the door was already slightly opened >.< sigh. Sorry woman, you gotta understand that I had to go real bad and I can't handle stressful situations well. :(

Sorry...I feel horrible...

I feel another dose of low self esteem coming up because of how poorly I handled the situation.

Almost forgotten about the tagging bit. Lets see...mmm soo wen...suzz....I can only think of you guys cos your blogs are still pretty active hahahaha. Just feel free to do this and let me know when you do =D

in bed

damn hungry can?

sorry i haven't been replying your comments dear ppl who still layan this blog hehehe :) will get to it... I blog more often using my phone these days so i get alot of problems leaving messages on chatboxes or commenting from this super small 1.5 x 2 inch display. Lol!

Today i'm not so emo already because i was busy running around meeting people. So i guess i can conclude that not being productive and lacking in human communication is the main course of my low self esteem. (well u dont have to be a psych grad to figure that out haha)

But what i'm concern is how will be making the choices that are placed in front of me. Should i go for something rewarding materially or more psychologically? something totally new and unexpected to see how i would fair? Or something that is within my comfort zone...

are u ready for a challenge lil missy?

down

words can't express how i'm feeling now. I can't seem to find an outlet for these feelings of mine.

Others might see nothing for me to be depressed over.

But i know myself best. Me,myself and i.

Getting myself back together. Crying and praying really helps more than anything in the world.

Michelleteh please be strong!

down

taken from beautyheaven.com.au

Lately I've been having this slowly building up case of OCD. I've been carrying my hand sanitizer around ALOT and I'll use it whenever i feel that my hands are dirty. I used to carry paper soaps around but I don't get water everywhere to wash my hands so now I've switched to hand sanitizers...and they are pretty addictive.

taken from sz-wholesale.com

I've been like seriously slapping the sanitizer on my hands on a pretty frequent rate. Even when I exit the public loo after washing my hands I can't help but "sanitize" my hands more. Am i being silly? Do these hand sanitizers actually work?

how to react when faced with a zombie?

Every once in a while my brother would invite me to watch a movie with him on his 21 inch monitored desktop. This time we watched QUARANTINE. Pretty freaked out after watching this...lol ok more like uncomfortable but not scared or whatever. Not scared la!

Being unemployed n haven't been using my brain much for the past 4 months, i started wondering... What if situations like in the movie were real?

That'd be really scary...and i would so be guilty of all the acts i yelled at the actors not to do.

"stupiddddd! Get a weapon before going into the room laaaa!"

"omg b**** stop cryinggg!!"

"that guy is so not dead! Stab him! Stab him! He's gonna come get you idiot!!!"

Not too sure when did this movie debut but the title says it all. A bunched of people quarantined (what else) haha. The concept is pretty much similar to the typical zombie movies.

Guy gets bitten by a zombie /guy gets some sort of weird disease --> guy dies--> guy lives again except now he has no sense of who he once was. He now also either has an exceptional thirst for blood or is bloody hungry (bloody + hungry). He is also exceptionally strong, like an animal...either having also heightened sense of smell/sight/hearing, combi of those or a lack of any combi of those. Oh he is also very sensitive to light and would either or not die when coming into contact with light. --> guy proceeds to hunt and attack disease free humans.

And sooner or later the whole world/country/building gets filled with zombies like these...and towards the end you'd somehow realize it all started from some scientist trying to take over the world / animal / directors running out of originality. Still everyone either dies or someone will still be alive and ready to spread the disease somewhere else thats not contaminated.

We're often bombarded with crappy zombie movies and yet we dig it and are scared watching it. Thats human and thats me...and my brother.

Brother and i would always crawl into our beds like asap once we finish a horror /thriller film no matter how crappy it is cos its just uncomfortable staying awake after watching those movies Haha!

But seriously, what if situations like these were REAL? n you're that main actor fighting to escape/survive the whole zombie shit. Have you ever imagined yourself playing the lead in those zombie movies? How would you react weih... Computer gaming zombie encounters do not count! No matter how realistic you'd feel playing games like left4dead, you wouldn't be armed like the characters in real life!

*wasting my brain juice*

*still wasting my brain juice*

Mmm
Adding to my little non existent notebook, how to react when faced with a zombie.

You know just to prepare myself in case of a nightmare or something.

Yer. Scary la!

Picture rights

I apologize beforehand if you feel unhappy about what I'm about to say. This is not meant for anyone in particular okeee

I always get bugged for pictures because I'm kinda the one carrying my camera around. Its not that I don't want to be sending pictures to others but to me pictures of poor quality (according to my standards) being sent off to other people and them posting it up does not make me happy at all. I'm a perfectionist in that way cos I have standards for a good picture. I would rather take time & effort to screen through and touch up whatever that needs to be touched up before sending them off because I'm still lacking skills in photo taking or someone else using my camera to snap pics are not that skillful. That is why it takes time, please understand.

Another thing I'm not too crazy about are people taking the pictures of my camera, posting them up wherever and not giving me credit for it. I mean isn't it basic manners to give credit when credit is due? That's also why I would take the effort to watermark my pictures because of the time & effort I spent making it look better since I sometimes don't get the recognition of taking certain pictures. Some might call me selfish or whatever for being this way but I'm pretty particular in this.
Heh! *peace peace*

For now I'm working on the pictures from my graduation first, didn't take much pictures of that event as it was pretty inconvenient since this time around I'm not the one actually taking the picture.

I'm envious that baybee has got some nice pictures of his graduation for example this one

taken with his whole batch of friends. If only the four of us graduated with more of our friends.

Random picture of the day..

Do these look familiar to you?

Got these picture from my brother's phone. These were the cocktail sausages I prepared for Bpsych's Halloween event last year! Might give you a lil inspiration to jazz up your plate if you're only eating plain ol cocktail sausages. Just lightly slit the ends a lil before steaming the sausages and they will turn out like this! Try slitting different patterns its fun!

Totally unrelated to what i'm about to talk about but i can't find any other pics in my phone to upload for now, this was snapped when I met up with Grace a few days ago at Gardens with her phone.

camping in the hall tonight because i just felt like it. Lying here in the dark reminded me of a moment during hmc's leadership camp. It was that moment where we were all left individually at different spots in that forest (which we thought was haunted and were occupied by wildboars). I'm just recalling the thoughts that were running through my head during that moment of silence and loneliness. What brought back all the sudden urge to reminiscent that moment was looking back at my old pics a few days ago, that movie that i just watched and also the endless mosquitoe bites i'm getting now....which really almost resembles that moment in the forest...almost.

Lookin back...I've met so many different people throughout my not very long journey in life...not long ago i was pretty close to a few people whom i now barely even talk to anymore..sometimes i couldn't even remember the names of these people and it really saddens me for forgetting. I wish i have more gbs in my head to remember every single moment of my life...every person i once know....every happy moment...sigh if you ask me whats my biggest fear in life i'd tell you its the fear of forgetting. The fear of losing my memories.

It's really not such a bad feeling to be alone for that little while to reflect of whats happened in my life. At least i can practice recalling whatever happened that day and try to retain whatever it is i can...

Mmm ima go into snooze mode now.

What have i been up to

It feels so weird to be typing in this page...nothing about blogging seems familiar anymore.

Its so strange to think how i used to be so comfortable writing about my life, my stories and putting up pictures (some pretty shameless) about everything little detail of my life. Gone were those days.

The reason for my 2month hiatus was because i was so busy working on Phasionology.com.
I procrastinated learning how to build a website until in March where i finally got my ass into working on the site. It was a fulfilling experience and I'm kinda happy i managed to finally get it done all by myself of course with some help from my most reliable person in my life. I love how he was able to give the site one final touch and made it close to my perfectly imagined site.

Gotten mixed comments from visitors of the site, some said its pretty some said messy some said its very easy to navigate while others also said it was confusing. The homepage was envisioned to be like a mag cover, hence the messy designs and words all over the page. I really wanted it to be something different, not too serious and most importantly fun to look at and navigating through. I'm not one of those fond of conventional columned websites with a header and sidebars laa dee daa...so what i can hope is for people to except and embrace something new and originally mine.

Mmm so yea...that would be i think the most interesting part of my life upon graduation - Building my first website.

The second most interesting part of my life upon graduation would be, I'm finally starting to look for a proper job. (How interesting) yes i figured...no actually i knew from the start that i would be needing much more resources that i now have for me to pursue whatever business venture i intend to in future.

Everyone around me is so worried because I'm not working yet and honestly i kinda despise the tone of voice of some people when they say "Still no job ah?" or " Still not working ah?" or "Still lazing around ah?" but i just brush off my sensitivity and reply them with a soft laugh *ha haha~* yeah lor! ........... I think people think of me as having a problem for not looking for a job especially in these "bad times" but honestly...I know what I'm getting myself into.

LOL btw My granny asks on average 3 times a day "Has any company replied?"
*when i get outta bed* - see your computer, got reply or not?
*when i get outta the toilet* - see your computer, got reply or not?
*when i'm watching the television* - aih...seee your computer..

Who knew (heh) looking for a job could be so troublesome...I'm getting offers for positions i did not apply for and positions i would never take up. ........Am i just being too picky? sigh.

Anyway. I've been looking at my old pictures for the past hour and really miss having my closer friends around...:*(

My primary school mates - Wern Ai, Suzz when will we be meeting up again? I'm so proud of you girls, wern ai...watching your first podcast and suzz for being who you are...wish i was half as knowledgable and well read as you girls...miss u all =(

My highschool buddies - Vat, Wen, Yeen, Jac, Shan, Aza I miss spending time with each one of you...sigh...we've all grown up so fast...seems like yesterday when we were all still in our uniforms hanging out during recess and gossiping in class. Aiyo damn emo...

Glamours - Andrea, Sheryn, Adelene, Vern may Thank you all for the wonderful memories in college...miss those times so much =) emooo....

My unimates - Belle, Tiff, Vernmay, Zi and Min just saw you girls recently but miss you all already...I miss having jaw aches and unstoppable period flow whenever laughing with u girls la! To those working, try not to be too stressed up! (Carry air freshener with you!) To those who just gotten into relationships...I'm so happy for you! To those holidaying (in UK and in Rawang) Enjoy your much deserved break and i miss you girls so much!!!

and also to the few of who could finally cross out all assignment and exam dates from your calender Mike, Belle, Yips, Beng and You Ming. Congratulations! and I can't wait to catch up with you guys =) to Jonsern, sorry ah quite busy to chat lately hehe hope you're perfecting the art of brewing and will make me one someday! and Grace, nice catching up with you again, I'm proud of how much you've changed in a good way.

SIGH. so emo....gonna be more emo cum Monday as my bestest best friend and partner in everything i do will start to be busy. *sobs* I'm gonna miss our carefree days together for the past 4 whole years. I'm trully blessed having you in my life baybee...thank you for being with me and just layaning all my nonsense when I'm claiming to be acting cute hehehehehhee only you would know what I'm talking about. I love you. I love loving you!

*wipes little tear off corner of eyes*

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Why sound like suicide note wan...CHOI! *hugs woods*

Night night whoever who still reads this blog.

I can't be bothered to reread this emo post to check for typos and grammatical errors so just correct it yourself in your head thank you your welcome no problem bye bye.